I found myself desperately googling ‘alternative sexual healing methods’ at 3am in the middle of the night after having what most millennials would call “a meltdown”.
I’ve had it.
No more doctor visits, counselling, therapy, and definitely – no more medicine. I’m tired of having to explain myself over and over to health practitioners, only to have my experiences and pain brushed off routinely.
With a little bit of research, you’ll find an abundance of stories, testimonies, and studies shared by women that reveal how the modern medical system is constantly failing us. On top of having our pain frequently undermined and looked over, women are made to wait longer than men to receive treatment when both parties cite abdominal pain in the waiting room.
The Gap In Modern Medicine
I experience what I can only describe as immense pain during that time of the month, and I have been going to different doctors for many years only to be prescribed painkillers and well-meaning albeit useless advice to rest and drink more water. This has affected me psychologically, physically, and even sexually.
For individuals like myself dealing with an abusive past, or for others, perhaps sexual trauma, the experience of even trying to get a diagnosis can be additionally distressing. As I turn to the internet to fill the gap that modern medicine has left me, I uncover a large number of women around the globe who are taking control of their own treatment, and experimenting with other forms of healing to tend to their bodies.
If being on a tiny island like Singapore can provide me with tools to do the same, I say why not.
With an open mind and a little bit of probing around the web, I stumble upon Elaine Yang, who is a reiki practitioner in Singapore, and I reach out to her to find out more. She tells me not only does she do reiki energy healing, but she also conducts sound-baths and classes.
This is also how I found myself at her shared studio space at 37 Tembeling Road a few days later, for a first-hand experience of reiki and to have a conversation about my concerns.
Elaine tells me that although her job is a reiki teacher, she feels that her work revolves more around empowering people. She describes reiki as being “a universal life energy, simply in its purest form. Energy that is neither negative nor positive, one that is neutral and has an inert quality.”
Reiki healing, on the other hand, is something that supports the body on its journey of doing what it is already naturally inclined to do. This is also the main challenge in her job – addressing the misconception that reiki is some kind of higher power, or wisdom, one that will make all problems go away.
“Reiki is not magic. Reiki doesn’t “fix” you. I am not the healer here. You are your own healer, and I’m simply a conduit for reiki to flow through.”
She furthers explains that reiki resembles any other form of healing, in that it doesn’t produce instant results. Rather, reiki shows you how you can begin to use it in your own journey to find more balance, and in that process, to see how some imbalances have come to be in the very first place.
For someone trying reiki for the first time, Elaine illustrates how she makes clients feel at ease by first discussing the process before proceeding with the session. Often, they want to know what to do.
“Do I need to empty my mind?” or “Do I need to focus on something?” are common questions, to which she usually tells them that there is nothing for them to do, except to simply trust the process.
I then express my concerns about women who may find treatments in modern medicine quite invasive and are possibly looking for treatments that might make them feel less nervous.
She replies, “firstly, in the way that I conduct my sessions, there is touch. That’s something I tell my clients as well, so they feel comfortable.” She adds that reiki is not a substitute for professional help, but rather works alongside them to improve your capacity in handling these treatments.
What about those who generally don’t feel very empowered by themselves, or their bodies?
“Reiki is, at its core, about you being in touch with your body, you literally have to be hands on in the process. That already brings you back in connection with your body.”
As such, women who don’t feel like they are able to command a lot in bed sexually can empower themselves with reiki.
I had one last question – did this really work or was it just a placebo effect?
She was quick witted and responded swiftly: “I would say, well, is it working for you?” She laughs, “placebo or not placebo, (even though it’s not) as long as it is working for you then that’s fine with me, I’ve done my job well and I don’t feel as though I have to prove reiki at all.”
My Experience With Reiki
The treatment Elaine had arranged for me consisted of two parts, the first was a sound-bath, where singing bowls made from different crystals would be played, resonating at various frequencies.
According to her, these sounds vibrate in accordance with the frequencies of our bodies and matter around us, attuning us to what is in and around us. I sat down across from her with my eyes closed as she started to play.
I found it pretty unnerving in the beginning.
I was very conscious of what was going on; how uncomfortable it was in the position I was sitting, being so aware of Elaine’s presence, all while trying to stay present in such an orchestrated environment of relaxation. It didn’t make for the most comfortable of sensations. However, I was advised by Elaine to breathe if I didn’t know how to react, and so I did.
As time went by, I started to understand the singing of the bowls for what it is – music. That was when I started to feel vibrations in my head, and the lightness of my body became apparent to my consciousness. After it ended, there was a blanket of calmness and lightness that came over me.
The second part of the treatment was the reiki healing session.
Already feeling relaxed from the sound-bath helped with easing into the session, which made me a little nervous. Lying on the bed, I felt slightly resistant to Elaine putting her hands on my chest, but I went with it because I knew that there was power to the practice and was enthusiastic following the sound-bath.
I managed to relax a little bit throughout the session, and felt warmth emanating from her palms, but still preferred the sound bath to the reiki healing session.
Even so, the two parts complement each other. Did it contribute to my sexual healing? I can’t say just yet, but I managed to emerge from the session feeling meditated and calm, which is something that rarely occurs.